Friday, 29 April 2011

I Don’t Care about the ‘Royal Wedding’ and I’m British!



I solemnly swear that I will not discuss the Royal Wedding that was watched by 2.5 billion people. I am proud to say that I did NOT watch it. Yes, I was at work. I have no time for nonsense, since, unlike the Royal Couple, I work for my living. I wasn’t born into wealth.

I do not care that the hotel bookings alone jumped to 400% for the weekend show. Not only were they selling commemorative spoons and plates, cell phones and condoms, they were selling more magazines and newspapers. This Royal Wedding of William and Kate is expected to pump $1 billion into the British economy. Good for them!

It does not interest me the least bit that tweets with the word the ‘Royal Wedding’ have increased fourfold since the beginning of this month, with an average of nearly 5,000 Per Hour. Thank God for the pause button for those who use twitter to get updated EVERY SECOND! 

In fact, it is perplexing that Twitter has prepared its own servers to tweet about the marriage between Prince William and Kate. Guess what it is called? ‘Wills & Kate` of course!  And a special treat for those who could not make it to the wedding: a Wedding book has been established. So now everybody can congratulate the Royal Couple using the hashtag #rw2011. Now doesn’t that make you feel important.


And everyone seems to be in on action EVERYWHERE. English tweets about the Royal Wedding that came from the U.S. were 40 percent, followed by the UK (31 percent), Canada (8 percent), Australia (6 percent), Indonesia (4 percent) and India (3 percent).

Even YouTube could not be left out. They have their own channel called the “The Royal YouTube” page that streamed live across the web all day. Videos related to the Royal Wedding, using any related keyword (such as ‘Royal Wedding’, ‘Kate Middleton’, etc.) have grown more than 110 times per day initially only 37.5 k to 460 k per day.

And of course how can we not mention the radical Islamic groups, including the al-Qaeda and Islamic militant groups. How do they fit in you ask? Well, the poor souls were so bummed out for not being invited that they wrote on their website that “the Royal Family is the enemy of God because it supports the war in Afghanistan”. HIGH ALERT

How can you blame them when Hitler didn’t react royally either when he found out he wasn’t invited:

video

In Pakistan, people celebrated in the only way they know: dolling up the bride and groom in the traditional farshi gharara and sherwani:



The one million people who had gathered along the wedding route did not have a ball either. 57 arrests were made: about half the arrests were for breach of the peace and a man was held for an alleged sex assault on a girl, aged 14.

 

Anyway, I am glad it's over now and I feel proud of myself for not giving in to the hype. For the rest of you, GET BACK TO WORK!


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